Being a single south asian is definitely not easy! It’s already hard enough dealing with the pressures of being single when all your friends are married or better yet, prepping the nursery for their first born. Add into the mix ever meddling desi parents and the added pressure they put on us to get married and start popping out kids. So, how do we deal with this added pressure and maintain some sense of sanity? Enter the TwoMangoes.com Single Survival Guide, Chapter 1: Dealing with Desi Parents!
South Asian Culture & Dating: Stop Bugging Me!
April 4, 2011 By 1 Comment
1. Ignore and they will go away. Anyone who has South Asian parents knows that this NEVER works! Indian parents are some of the most persistent people and will keep pushing and pushing and pushing until they get some sort of response, and that too, the right response. It’s best to deal with them head on and explain to them your intentions right away. If you’re looking to get married soon, let them know. If you’re not and you’d like to sit on the sidelines for a little longer until you take the plunge into marriage, be open and honest with them. It may not be the message they want to hear but at least they’ll know the truth. (Note: Depending on how persistent your parents might be, you may be better off telling a small white lie and say you’re actively looking even if you’re not just to keep them at bay)
2. Is every conversation and interaction revolving around your pending marriage? Does your mom keep talking about what jewellery she’ll be passing onto you on that big day? Is your dad constantly talking about how he only has one thing left to do in his life? Let them know that the more they push marriage down your throat, the more likely you are to take up a life of singledom or better yet, resort to dance moves like this in pure revolt. (Warning: Once played, this song (and the dance moves) will stay in your head for the next week at least!)
3. Constant introductions to random friends with a son/daughter of ‘marriageable age’? That’s an easy one! Put on your most comfortable pair of sweats that you lounge around the house in, pull your hair back into a ponytail, put on a clay mask and get ready to meet him/her! Your parents will quickly get the message that you’re not interested in being paraded around like a spring chicken and serving chai!
Ultimately it comes down to one thing – your parents have to respect your choices and understand that constantly bugging you about getting hitched isn’t going to expedite the process. That being said, if you’re already actively looking, let them know so they can lay off and take comfort in the fact that they don’t need to keep bugging you!