Have we completely confused you? Allow us to explain.
Let’s take our friend ‘Raj’*. Raj wants to be in a relationship. Raj wants to be happy. Raj wants to be in love.
At the other end is our friend ‘Simran’*. Simran is looking for love. Simran dreams of her ‘Raj’ everyday. Simran wants to skip down the street, hand in hand, smiling and laughing into the sunset.
When these 2 lovely souls finally do collide (online on TwoMangoes.com, of course) they are completely smitten with each other. Raj instantly falls in love with Simran’s beautiful smile. He loves everything about her – her eyes, her laugh, the way she wrinkles her face when she doesn’t like something. Simran completely adores Raj the instant they meet. She loves his charisma. She loves his take-charge attitude. She loves the smell of his cologne.
They fall madly in love with each other and everything is perfect except for one small thing – they have absolutely nothing in common. They didn’t like the same books, movies, even trying to pick a cuisine for their first date was impossible (she’s a vegetarian, he’s a carnivore). She’s ultra conservative and introverted. He’s totally outgoing and the life of the party. She enjoys a quiet evening at home with a good book. He doesn’t even own books (unless you count the latest copy of Men’s Health Magazine or Maxim). Most of all, there is a total lack of chemistry (kissing her was like kissing his grandmother on the cheek!) Yet, they have become ‘the couple’ of the group. They go everywhere together and seem so happy, despite never feeling any real connection with each other.
And yet they both want so badly for this to work that they look past all these things and continue to forge ahead. They try and convince themselves that this CAN work. Over time, they will develop common interests… right? And over time they will start to enjoy and understand each others passions… right? WRONG!
Sure, we’ve all heard the line ‘opposites attract’, but in this case Raj and Simran don’t even have the ‘attract’ part going for them. All they have is the desire for this to work; to be in love, to find their happily ever after. After multiple attempts and finding so many wrong guys and girls, they have finally found someone that’s, well, tolerable. So the right thing to do would be to settle and hope for the best… right?
Unfortunately, our society, especially being a single desi guy or girl exposes us to some serious peer pressure. We’re not always told to follow our heart and do what ‘feels’ right, but to do what ‘makes the most sense’. In this case, it makes sense for Raj and Simran to fall in love, get married and force a happily ‘ever after’, or even a contently ‘after ever’. And yet, what’s the point of that? Do we fall in love or get married for ourselves or for the sake of some societal pressure? If it’s the latter, then forcing a relationship to work makes all the sense in the world., but if it’s for ourselves, then why force something that isn’t there? For who’s benefit?
Fast forward 2 years, the day before their wedding day. Raj and Simran both look themselves in the mirror and say ‘I love the idea of being in love with you. Isn’t that enough?’ You be the judge.
*Character names inspired by our honorary mango friend, @ChaiChatter
Thanks for this article, because it rings true for a lot of single Desis. We’re not falling in love with the person, but falling in love with the idea of “finding the one.” It doesn’t help that others (parents and aunties) are pressuring us to go against what we truly want. If compatibility isn’t there, you might as well walk into a snake pit. I would rather be single and happy than married and miserable.